it's amazing to me how my sister always seems to have a correct sense of how i'm really feeling. sometimes, i call her, she'll know that i'm just trying to pass time and talk about nothing at all. and sometimes, i call her, and she knows that i'm in "complete and utter distress"--in the fashion that only Carlos girls seem to have perfected--and that i really need her. it really is a gift.

just imagine how difficult it is to have any kind of relationship with anyone with whom you don't get to see everyday; that's the kind of relationship that my sister and i have had to make-do with for more than half of these past three years. yet somehow, i feel closer to her now, more than ever before. though it seems paradoxical, i really do think that there's a very simple explanation. these days, we have to try harder. these days, we can't just walk into each other's bedrooms every five minutes. these days, we can't just decide to spend the whole day together, and do it. the geographical distance prevents us from doing all the usual things that we would be otherwise doing. but that's okay, because we know to just try harder. 

proximity doesn't guarantee close ties. i only recently realized that just because you spend everyday being physically near someone, that doesn't automatically transfer into a magical communion of your two souls. nor does that nearness guarantee being able to sustain any pre-established relationship.  you can see someone everyday, be in close proximity, but still drift far apart. there is more to any kind of intimate relationship than just being able to touch each other. 

this summer is a perfect example of that. i said goodbye to a lot of people last spring, knowing that it would be a very long time until i would get to see them again. and throughout the summer, in my overly-dramatic way, my heart ached to be in close proximity to them. but i discovered that it's not physical nearness that binds people together. people don't have to live within a ten-mile radius in order to be friends. and yes, even though when we were kids, our best friends probably lived just down the street, trust me on this one: friendships aren't built on close proximity alone.

yasmin goes to school at brown in rhode island, and we've barely lived in the same house for years now. but we'll always be great friends. katie goes to school in north dakota. to her, i'll always be that "mean girl" from 5th grade who wouldn't let her sit next to me on the school bus. ryan goes to school at NYU, but we're still going to go sledding together every winter break, and we still call each other at random times of the day to just talk. yes, distance and the inability to see each other whenever we feel like it, makes it difficult to keep up-to-date on each other's daily lives. but the time apart just makes each reunion all the more sweeter. 

we have history. we have endless conversations about everything and nothing at all.  we have memories of shared moments. and we know, because of all these, that no matter where life may take us, however great the distance, the physical gap can always be bridged by the efforts that we're willing to put in. it can be a visit. but it can also be something as simple as a card, a letter, a quick IM, or a phone call. simple as it sounds, believe me, that's all it takes.