our preoccupation with time has conditioned us to keep schedules and we do spend the majority of our lives living by the clock. sometimes, instead of soaking in all the experiences, we become too busy trying to keep up with our schedules; trying to stay one step ahead of it all. and because of these perceived time constraints, we often forget how important it is to sometimes allow ourselves the luxury of a little bit of spontaneity or even silliness.
"don't ask any questions. just put your shoes on and come with us." today, at 2 am six kids, including the Turk, Ace (aka the Pan), the Burns, "Calvinand", Hobbes &Flip (myself) decided to pile into a tiny two-door coupe to drive all over chicago until the sun came up.
climbing under the wires to stand on the rocks by the lake as we hold hands to form a circle, skipping all the way to campion from coffey at 1:30 in the morning wearing pajamas and red fuzzy slippers, being a little tipsy & deciding to walk to a park in the suburbs to play in a playground, going on "missions"; i wouldn't trade any of these experiences for anything in this world. ten, or twenty, or thirty or however many years from now, i doubt i'll remember even half of the things i take notes on during lecture. i doubt i'll remember a lot of what i've read in all these books, nor will i remember the details of topics i've written extensive essays and taken lengthy tests on. but i will remember these late-night outings, and more importantly, the people i shared these experiences with. years from now, after graduation, after landing my dream job, after finally figuring out what i want out of this life, i'll still be able to reach into the special place wherein i tuck all of these memories safely away. i can look back fondly, feel a great big stupid grin creeping on, and chuckle to myself.
college is supposedly where we are supposed to step into adulthood. as i packed my things in preparation for this new life to begin, i was told that i was in fact getting ready to leave my childhood behind. i suppose that i somehow equated this transition with committing myself to seriousness. but i'll tell you right now that one of the most important lessons that i've learned this year is to never take myself too seriously. another one is to spend my time wisely, but never to become too busy to do things that i enjoy.
someone once told me that time was a predator that stalked us all our lives. i'd rather believe that time is a companion that goes with us on a journey, reminding us to cherish every moment because they might never come again.
I've been getting a few complaints about the content of my blogs. Apparently, I haven't put enough of myself into them. I guess that means that I haven't really opened up, and put myself out there. And it's true, but only to a certain extent.
You have to understand, it's perfectly normal to want to be even just a little bit guarded. To attempt to put up walls so that others can't see inside. There seems to be a lot of that going on around here lately. It's a fear that I think we've all experienced before. Because when we open up to people, we're left vulnerable, and naked in a sense.
Most of the time, I talk about a lot of nothing. And there's a reason for that. Usually, there's something else going on, but I might not say anything because I wasn't really taught to do that. It wasn't frowned upon, but I just wasn't raised like that. I was raised to think that I can deal with just about anything. And I'd like to think that I can. I like to think that I'm fully capable of taking care of myself and whatever else that concerns me.
The role I've always played was that of the problem solver. I was one of the kids that everyone ran to whenever they were having problems. I guess that kind of conditioned me to think that I can deal with everything on my own, and in my own way. But the past few months I've spent here at school have really humbled me. It's a bit ironic that it's when I was thrown into a setting where I can prove/assert my independence that I finally learned that sometimes, it's ok to depend on others.
And learning to be helped doesn't come about until you're able to open yourself up. I think I have. I think that it shows in the relationships I've formed during the past few months. The friends I've made here have become my family. They're the ones whom I come home to. They're the ones I hug and kiss hello, goodbye, or goodnight. They're the ones I miss in absence. They're the ones that worry when I don't come home when I said I will. They're the ones I run to when I'm happy, sad or excited.
I've only realized it recently, but it really is true that you end up keeping the good out of your life when you shut yourself in just so you can shut the bad out. The "good stuff" is just too good to miss out on, even when you're desperately trying not to get hurt again. So thanks, to all of you who have made me realize that. Friends like you come around only once in a lifetime. I'll have you guys as long as you'll have me.
Does it ever seem like we’re losing the real virtues of living life passionately? Or losing the sense of taking responsibility for who we are; the ability to make something of ourselves and feeling good about life?
People often discuss Existentialism as if it’s a philosophy of despair. But I think the truth is just the opposite. Sartre once said, when interviewed, that he never really felt a day of despair in his life. One thing that comes out from the reading of these philosophers' works is not a sense of anguish about life, so much as it is a real kind of exuberance of feeling on top of it. What they're saying is that your life is yours to create.
I'd say that you'd have to read the Post-Modernists with some interest, even admiration. But in reading them, there's always a nagging feeling that something absolutely essential is being left out. The more that you talk about a person as a social construction, or as a confluence of forces, or as fragmented or marginalized, what you do is open up a world of excuses; a world where there's no accountability whatsoever.
When Sartre talks about responsibility, he’s not talking about something abstract. He’s not talking about the kind of self or soul that theologians would argue about. It’s something very concrete: It’s you and me talking. Making decisions. Doing things and accepting the consequences.
It's true that there are six billion people in the world and counting. Nevertheless, what you do makes a difference. It makes a difference, first of all, in material terms. It makes a difference to other people and it sets an example. In short, the message here is that we should never simply write ourselves off and see ourselves as the victims of various forces. It’s always our decision who we are.
[b]shnockered adj. (shnock·ered)[/b] [b]1: [/b]being in a state of drunkenness [b]2:[/b] shit-faced
[b]Usage:[/b] "I don't think I should postpone our next test to the Thursday after St. Patty's because I'm sure most of you will still be shnockered." --J.Johnson, PhD (my abnormal psych professor)
Spring Break in late February?? I thought they were kidding. I've been living in Minnesota for almost 9 years now, so forgive me if I have more than a little trouble putting the words "spring" and "February" in a sentence other than, "spring DOES NOT begin in February."
confusion aside, i was determined to completely veg-out during spring break. but seeing that there's no one to hang out with since all of my highschool friends are still suffering through midterms and awaiting their more appropriately timed spring breaks, it was completely up to me to find things to amuse myself with.
there's really not that much to do in st. louis park. but don't get me wrong, it's not podunk by any means. we do have a well-developed main street, excelsior blvd., nicknamed "the miracle mile". fully equipped with a decent movie theatre, about 10 million cafes, three or four bakeries, a few up-scale restaurants, a couple of book stores, some vintage clothing and furniture stores. and of course, there's always knollwood, the tiniest "mall" i have ever seen in my life, located, a mere 10 blocks from my house. it does have its gems, like the massive old navy, the DSW (aka mine and yasmin's personal heaven), a bath and body works, and a Regis salon. and really, that's all a girl can ask for: clothes, brand name shoes for almost nothing, fruity smelling lotions and body washes, and a decent place to get your hair done. :wink:
then again, there's downtown minneapolis, which is comparable (although much smaller in comparison) to downtown chicago, is less that 15 minutes away. i can easily hop in my car and drive down calhoun drive, past lake of the isles, and spend my day immersed in culture. i can go to the MIA (minneapolis institute of arts). or i can catch a matinee at the Lagoon (one of the best indie-flick theatres around). after which, spend the rest of the day walking in and out of quaint little shops down hennepin ave. and then at night, i can join the ranks of minnesota sports fanatics and catch either a wolves game at the target center or a wild game at the excell energy center.
but i musn't discount the tempting alternative of becoming a shut-in. spending everyday reading select items plucked out of the ridiculous mass of books i accumulated over years and years of spending way too much time at Half-Price Books and Barnes and Noble. I can actually nestle into my favorite chair, knitted blanket over my legs, a gigantic cup of tea in my right hand, and a good book in my left. Now that's what I call 'reading'...none of that highlighter, notebook and pen shit that I pull when I'm at school.
Or i can always delve into my brother's ridiculously massive collection of DVDs. he has over 300 titles now, I think. tell me this, how does a recent college graduate with student loans to pay have enough money to buy an average of 4 DVDs a week?? eh, what do i care about the logistics? thanks to him, i have the option of turning my brain to mush....
...but i guess i'll have to put off doing all that until i finish shoveling my 20x50 driveway. yeah, that's right. i woke up to 8 inches of heavy white snow blanketing everything. this is the serious stuff, too. it's not the fluff that you can quickly and effortlessly brush away with a big broom--it's the back-breaking kind. well, so much for digging out my spring/summer clothes from the back of my closet, and getting excited because i just sent in my returning staff forms for the 2004 rec center pool season.
that's ok, starting monday, i officially only have 1 month and 3 weeks untill the beginning of my "summer" break. hmm, summer in late april, i think i can get used to that, maybe with much more ease than getting used to spring in february. :D
P.S. as of March 5, 2004, my blog has been viewed 1001 times...do i get a prize for that??
[b]March 3, 2004[/b]- contributed by me [b]fugly adj. (fuh'·glee)[/b] A contraction of the words "fucking" and "ugly" often used to describe an exceptionally unattractive person who, upon closer inspection, appears to have not only been beaten with an ugly stick, but the entire ugly tree.
[b]Usage:[/b] "Man, that amazon with the hooded eyes, rat's nest for hair and five o'clock shadow is FUGLY!"
Just because we're on Spring Break, it doesn't mean that the learning should stop. So, in the spirit of learning something new everyday, I decided to post a vocabulary word for every day of Spring Break.
I've enlisted my co-conspirator extraordinaire, Heather, to take turns with me in this endeavor. Here's what we've got so far:
[b]March 1, 2004 [/b]- the inaugural, contributed by me [b]ass·clown n. (ass'·kloun)[/b] A person who has surpassed the behavioral level of a conventional ass.
[b]March 2, 2004 [/b]- contributed by Heather [b]shmuck-face (shmu'k fays)n[/b] - someone who is acting like a dick and whose dick-like quality is evident in his/her facial expressions.
